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What the hell? [24 Nov 2007|10:41am]

luminationremix
[ mood | contemplative ]

 Ummmm. What to say? I guess I can start by saying that I think being a virgin is a hard thing for people to deal with these days. Especially when you are a guy, like me, and everyone is expecting you to "ram" some "bitch"  And when people find out you've never done it, and have no desire to do it what so ever, they look at you like you are some sort of an anomaly. Like you're a freak. I'm almost twenty years old and I never had sex. I used to think about it a lot a few years ago, and found someone who was more than willing to do it with me, but I wasn't at the time ready, or interested when it came down to doing it. And no, it wasn't because of her appearance or anything like that, I just wasn't into being touched in anyway, by anyone. I'm still not. (except for hand-holding, and maybe cuddling) 

I used to hate the fact that I am virgin, but I have come to except it. I don't feel like a freak anymore, when i watch the Maury show and see all the stupid people who were in a hurry to have sex, now have babies, and no futures because of it. It's funny. From what my friends and random men have all told me about sex, it seems like I am not missing a whole lot. And the fact that people walk around and openly talk about it, makes it seem like it isn't even very special at all. Like it's about as mainstream as taking a shower everyday, or eating dinner. When I go to work and one of my co-workers uses the term "gotta get that pussy" I see that as the same as saying, "gotta have a cup of coffee" Because it's said in such a manner that it's almost like a necessity, but they can have it whenever they want. 

I've asked people a very simple question the last couple of weeks, and so far only 2 people have answered me in a way where I don't just shake my head or think less of them. "Could you be with someone in a relationship if sex never came?" And I go into detail when I ask that. I say no oral, fingering or hand jobs, just coudling and kissing.
2 said yes.
About 20 said no.
And 1 person said yes, but that she'd be getting the sex from somewhere else. (basically cheating on the other person) 

I just wonder what the fuck the big obsession is.......and why when you haven't done it, people automatically wanna assume you're gay or have issues..  or that maybe you're a loser and nobody wants you, or that you're "super religious" 

It's ridiculous.

[ 12 non-virgins ] untouched

virgins. [18 Oct 2007|09:31pm]

postbox
[ mood | confused ]

Hello all. I just thought I'd lay down some facts...just so you know, I'm a professional Sex Educator.
Almost everyone who has posted here writes that they have "done everything but had sex" this always bothers me...people always assume that sex is being penetrated vaginally with a penis. Sex is so many things! Sex is intimacy between 2 or more people..that can be so many things. Alas, that's why so many people are clueless when it comes to sex or their own bodies. Today I helped a woman figure out where all her yeast infections were coming from since her doctor couldn't even do that. We are all so unaware of most things having to do with our own bodies and the way they work. Let's keep ourselves healthy and aware - and kids, penetration is not the only way to have sex.
here's a list of SEX:
+oral
+anal
+rubbing
+touching
+hand jobs
+fisting
+fetishes
+outercourse
+analingus
+intecourse
+prostate massage
+vaginal massage

etc....


Come on people, with this sort of mentality you are making the defination of sex = a man penetrating a woman. First of all, only about 10% of women get any sort of stimulation from being penetrated in the first place so if that WAS sex, I sure don't think very many women would be very excited about it. Also, does that mean that all gay couples are virgins? Lesbians? These are the lables we put onto things that are so far from being true. Think about it.

[ 52 non-virgins ] untouched

Leaving [28 Jul 2007|07:47pm]

hockey4life
As I sit here with my future ahead of me. I find it suiting that I should leave as your moderator and hand over to someone that would truely care for it. I have never had the time to put into this community as I would like to have. I am really sorry for that. When I took this community over I wanted to expand the reaches of this community. I wanted this community to be the only virgin community. Now with my neglegence and ignorance, there are a few virgin communities. Please email me and tell me why you should take over as moderator for this community. What are your plans for the community, how would you moderate it.

Sincerely,
Brandon
[ 6 non-virgins ] untouched

bad decisions [05 Mar 2007|07:26pm]

falado_faladay
[ mood | annoyed ]

I wish that people wouldn't advertise their sex lives.

Just today I found out that two of my close acquaintances started having sex just because they were "tired of being virgins" or something.

That doesn't seem like a sound judgement to me.

[ 9 non-virgins ] untouched

[02 Feb 2007|08:00pm]

falado_faladay
Hey Everyone.

I haven't posted on this in a long time, but recently something happened to one of my friends and I felt like this would be a good place to talk about it.

My friend, who is a mere fifteen years old just lost her virginity to her eighteen year old boyfriend. They were only dating a few months and while it was HER decision I can't help but think that she is still really young. She even went so far as to make fun of me a "ninteen year old pathetic virgin." She said she couldn't understand how I could even be considered a legal adult not having experienced intercourse. I didn't know wether to be offended or ashamed.

In some respects I do feel like I'm not a full adult yet. I treasure my virginity and consider loosing it a major milestone. I don't think I'm quite ready to jump in the sack with someone.

The worst part is...apparently the guy called my friend a "fuck buddy" behind her back. I don't know what to tell her.

:-(
[ 20 non-virgins ] untouched

[09 Jan 2007|06:40pm]

cwatergirl2003
1. did you have sex, but have taken a vow to wait until marriage from now on?
Did I have sex? Yes. Have I taken a vow? The verdict is still pending. I`m 22 and just lost it. I`m not sure what I`m going to do from here.

2. are you embarassed of your virginity and want to figure out why?
I used to be and I lied and told everyone I was`nt. I was embarassed and I have no clue as to why. I think it is something to be proud of. Well...now I do.
[ 5 non-virgins ] untouched

IMPORTANT READ. [08 Dec 2006|08:19pm]

hockey4life
To start off, I would like to apologize again for not being here for more than a year. Lets get down to business. To join this community, there will be an application process, which I will create in the next few days. This application will screen from the fakes and the real people. Even though they may not get in, it based off of my instincts. If I feel they are lying, then I will deny. Second, this community was not created to start drama. Most of us are grown-ups and know that drama is for little children. I will not start drama and neither should the members. People need to understand that their is not true meaning of virgin in this community. Their are second virgins and more, true virgins and people who regret loosing it and just need moral support. I am a very upfront guy and tell you what is on my mind. If people honestly think that saying the truth is drama, then delete yourself off this community. We are not baby-sitters, nor bosses. We are here for support and counseling. Over time, all of you will have to do an application. The way that is going to work is, I will delete your name on certain dates. Alphabetical order. I will let you know a week in advance. I want to wean some of the people who just add themselves to they are on a community or if they are not watching this community anymore. Posting to this community when not a member is strictly prohibited. I will be screening comments to members only. Things are changing, and hopefully for the best. I am back and am making changes.

Sincerely,
Brandon
[ 2 non-virgins ] untouched

Sincere Apology [07 Dec 2006|03:13pm]

hockey4life
Hey guys, My name is Brandon and I am sincerely do apologize for not being around. I have been very busy and I am finally at a job where I have free time on my hands. I need from all of you the trolls that are on this community so I can ban them. I am also changing some things. If you want to be added, an email will be sent to me and I will check out these people before they are admited. Please give me suggestions on what you all think on how this community can improve.


Sincerely,
Brandon
[ 14 non-virgins ] untouched

Frigid. [06 Dec 2006|12:33am]

lilithrain
[ mood | indifferent ]

Funny how one word sticks in your head. Es[ecially since this was of a fave of the "so-called-popular" girls at school to call me because of a certain little vow of mine.

Makes me wonder if this one is still used or do these girls, who clearly lack maturity or brains, have a new one to torment those of us who actually have morals?

I had to go look this up the first time because I thought they meant the weather and it does mena that too.

[i]cold: sexually unresponsive; "was cold to his advances"; "a frigid woman" [/i]

Just because I'm not all over the top of people, doesn't mean I'm that, but in high school I didn't want any of "that supposed cool stuff". I still don't. And if I do it's on my bloody terms. No one elses, just mine.

Don't mind me, just a passing rant.

Blessed Be
Lilith.

[ 15 non-virgins ] untouched

In answer to your questions. [05 Dec 2006|11:58pm]

lilithrain
[ mood | giggly ]

1. did you have sex, but have taken a vow to wait until marriage from now on?

Yup, did that in High School. Got quite a bit of crap for it too which I always thought was strange at a Catholic school where it was encouraged to be one. Good Catholics don't do that before marriage, is something we were told.

2. are you embarassed of your virginity and want to figure out why?

No, but I'm more than content to discuss the subject.

Oh, yeah, I'm 27 if you all wanted to know. Anything else? Do ask.

Blessed Be
Lilith.

[ 2 non-virgins ] untouched

What the ...? [04 Dec 2006|10:40pm]

choke_yourself
I just recently joined this group for advice ... and what do I see? Some freak named fullmetaljackie who just goes around saying things I completely don't understand. Her comments all seem really batty and I think she may be nuts or on drugs. Can't we ban her? I'm in need of some real communication among real people who want to help each other. Can someone recommend another community?

Wierdo.
[ 17 non-virgins ] untouched

hi im a virgin [04 Dec 2006|07:58pm]

fullmetaljackie
hi folks. i havent effed my boyfriend in almost uh 15 hours so i am a virgin. his peepee is in my mouth now though but so what, so is the mailmans (IM STILL A VIRGIN!!) lets talk about this then when i dont agree with you and when you start to make too much sense I WILL SCREEN ALL YOUR COMMENT LIKE WHATS HAPPENING IN THE PREVIOUS POST!!!!
[ 252 non-virgins ] untouched

This needs to get out. [04 Dec 2006|04:24pm]

lma_blo0dybitch
[ mood | annoyed ]

Alright gang. I haev a few things to say. Bare with me, or just ignore the post.

First off, I am getting really sick of the user raven55. In fact, I want him banned. He does not belong in this community because he only causes mass hysteria. He does not welcome new members unless they are just as maddening as he is. In fact, he badgers them to the point of where they wondered what the hell they did to deserve to be scolded like a child. It is one thing to be a christian (which I am going to go ahead and say he isn't one), and it's another thing to be fucking crazy. Well, he fits into the latter category. He's even told another female member that she shouldn't speak because she's a female after being fustrated at the fact that she has common sense. He contradicts himself and tries pushing other people down when he's caught doing it. He's a heartless, sexist, biggoted, hypocritical imbecile, and I wanted him kicked out. I am sure that I am not the only one who feels this way.

Also, to certain people who aren't virgins in this community, please don't tell people that there are only certain reasons one can acceptably be a virgin. It's fucking rude. For example (personal experience) Don't tell someone that being RAPED is not a sufficent reason to be a virgin. That is vile. Whatever the reason may be, don't push your beliefs (especially on a sensitive subject like rape) on anyone here. I don't care that your relationship with your boyfriend is "perfeckt." I'm sick of your snarky attitudes because you've had sex. Grow up.

"What??? You mean your life isn't perfeckt lyk minez?!?!?"

Your experiences do not = default. Shut up.

If this message is too harsh for any of you, well tough shit. I am not the greatest person in the world, and I don't claim to be. I'm just getting sick of all of the LJ users on this community who insist on sucking at life and try to make others as uncomfortable as they are.

The end.

-Sonia.

[ 140 non-virgins ] untouched

[03 Dec 2006|07:51pm]

irishmonkey_jr
[ mood | calm ]

I'm also glad to have found the page. I'm 23 and a virgin. Everyone around me isn't a virgin, all of my relationships have been with non-virgins, and it's gotten to a rocky period where I'm starting to feel unsure in my choices. Now I should note that I do not practice the strictest forms of abstinence, I have done some things besides intercourse (I haven't done anal or anything like that) and I do not abstain as a result of any christian ideology. Nor do I believe I should abstain until marriage, I will abstain until I meet the person I feel comfortable with and love.

Recently I feel in love with a girl who has been a close friend of mine for a few years and she was actually the first person I really opened up with about me being a virgin and my reasons for doing so. Some part of me believes that she disagreed with my beliefs (I already know we have different views on committment, marriage and children) and I shouldn't be caring for her because of that. But I guess you can't always choose who you fall in love with. Because if you could I would've chosen the any number of girls that have been interested in me over the years and not the one that never had any intention of being with me.

Anyways that's my story in a nut shell.

[ 6 non-virgins ] untouched

Hi! [03 Dec 2006|10:38pm]

nellika
[ mood | restless ]

Hi! I'm really glad that I found this page...I might as well introduce myself...I'm 21, a virgin, and have hardly spoken to anyone about it.
I believe in waiting until marraige to have sex...but up until now I've pretty much done everything except for sex itself. In some ways I very much regret that, and if I could turn back time I would have made different choices.
None of my friends believe in waiting until marraige...in fact, I don't know a single soul who does.
Sometimes it's difficult, especially since I'm in a relationship.
At least I'm not the only one who is happy being a virgin!!!

[ 137 non-virgins ] untouched

SAD =( [16 Nov 2006|11:12pm]
bjfanficwho
there's a guy i've liked for over 2 years and well, he called me like 2 weeks ago saying he wanted to come to my house.. to have sex. i'm like i don't believe in doing it before marriage and well we had a nice conversation that lasted for a couple of hours.. anyway he said he'll call me back sometime during the week but it's been 2 weeks and it never happened =(

i invited him over to my house to HANG OUT last friday and he was pissed cause he said i'm contradicting myself (wtf?). i think he assumes that just cause i was inviting him over i was planning to sleep w/ him or something.. anyhow.. i texted him saying that i was sorry. i am really sorry i feel that i did something to piss him off but i don't know what that was =(

is it possible that things would've worked out different if i had done whatever he wanted me to do..? is it true that having sex can make the guy love u more..? he said that sometimes sleeping with a guy can make the guy love the girl more and i told him that NO.. abstaining was my way of showing him that i truly loved him cause i'm showing him that i want him 4 MORE than just THAT.. i'm incredibly sad =( i beggining to believe that he just wanted to sleep w/ me and nothing more =( what do u guys think?
[ 15 non-virgins ] untouched

[10 Nov 2006|11:12am]

dinogrrl
[ mood | irritated ]

So yesterday in my anatomy lab, we were dissecting our cats (again), this time with the purpose of looking at the reproductive system. Right before we started, the TA asked us if any of us were uncomfortable with the words "penis" and "vagina" and if we were, too bad. We all looked at each other like "o_o...no..." And then he explains that there was a girl in his morning lab who had come up to him and asked him not to use the word "penis" to which, obviously, he said something like tough luck, that's the correct word for it and if you're going into nursing--which most of the students in the anatomy classes are--then you'll have to be dealing with it anyway so suck it up.

You may ask what this has to do with virginity. Now you shall know!

One of the girls at the table next to me said "She must have been a virgin."


Um...excuse me? Thanks for showing me exactly how highly you think of people like me who choose not to have sex for whatever reasons, which has nothing to do with whether or not we use anatomically correct words in a freaking science class.


Ignorance makes my brain hurt.

[ 7 non-virgins ] untouched

Guy Friend & Drama [04 Nov 2006|12:28am]

imthedruguneed
[ mood | Hopeful ]

Hey Guys,

So my name's Sandy and I live in a pretty boring place. I stumbled across this community while I was looking around livejournal and thought it was so awesome that other people charish their vriginity too. I'm 16 so I get a lot of the peer presure stuff about, "if you have sex, you are definatley a cool person" and stuff like that. It completely pisses me off that so many people, especially younger people, think like that. I mean, I really do think sex should be something that should happen on your wedding night because I think it's that special and it's worth the wait for so many reasons.

But besides the typical "why-I-don't-want-to-have-sex-now" thing, I had something happen last year between me and a close guy friend. Somehow, we started talking about sex and he asked me if I'd ever have sex with him, like hypothetically. I told him that I might and he asked me if I wanted to for real. I got kinda freaked out in a way cause I thought he was just messing around, you know? But then I started thinking about it and I told him that I'd think about it and tell him later. So then we started talking more about the whole situation and I was like two seconds away from actually telling him that I would go through with it, because, truthfully, I really wanted too because I thought it'd "feel good". But when we actually got together one day to hang out, I realised I didn't want to have sex just like that because it wouldn't mean anything and I didn't want him telling his cousins and friends about it. While I was thining about it though, he told me he wouldn't presure me, and he didn't...for a while. And I appreciated that.

So we ended up not going through with it and I know I definatley am happy and proud of myself that I didn't do it. We're still super close and after that whole thing happened, we stopped talking after a while cause of some other stuff too. But a couple of weeks ago, he started texting me and we're back to normal.

The thing is that he brought it up again. I told him that I wouldn't for sure, have sex with him and he asked me why. I didn't really tell him why but I think he respects my decision. I'm happy that, with that whole situation, it happened with him, and not anyone else because he's probably one of the only people who I wouldn't be in this big mess with after all of that.

So basically, that's where I am. I'm happy I'm still a virgin and I plan to stay one until I get married. I'm happy to know I'm not alone in all of this and that people support not going along with the "trend".

Has this happened to anyone else? Or anything close??

I'd like to see how you guys handled something like this.

[ 4 non-virgins ] untouched

Do you feel diffrent? [03 Oct 2006|09:25pm]

elanor_g
[ mood | curious ]

Its been about 6 weeks since I lost my virginity to my then boyfriend, at the time I thought I was making the right desicion.  I remember walking home after feeling real, if thats the right word to use, I felt like i had finaly become a woman rather than being the little girl.  Since then we have broken up, I don't regret anything I done.  

Did anyone else feel like that after you had lost your virginity?  I'm 21 so I'm not too young or too old by any means.

cross-posted

[ 13 non-virgins ] untouched

[02 Oct 2006|04:02pm]

bounceup
hi, i was just wondering, especially for the guys, don't you feel like you're pressured into having sex? i mean most of my friends do it and yeah i kinda feel left out.

but for men, it's kinda different don't you think? i mean, the society is virtually letting guys get away with sex before marriage.

how do you deal? and what made you decide to stay a virgin? do you think it had something to do with the way you were brought up?
[ 4 non-virgins ] untouched

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